Couples Therapy – Simon’s Blog on Episode 7 – Metaphors of Me and My Speedos

Alex McCord in the Hot Seat - Couples Therapy VH1 Season 2 Episode 7

Alex McCord in the Hot Seat
After last week’s ‘Fistful of Dollars’
Couples Therapy
Photo courtesy of VH1 ©

As I wrote in a post accompanying the video for this episode’s preview – which got a few people commenting, it’s the morning after the night before and the relief around the Couples Therapy House, now that Doug & Courtney had departed was palpable. I went for a swim and yes, I wore Speedos! But let me just say that me and my Speedos have been friends for years and despite now being the wrong side of 40, I still rock ‘em occasionally, now whether I should we’ll let this week’s ratings be the judge!

As soon as the preview video for this week’s episode was released, Tweets, Facebook posts and comments on this website started discussing me & my Speedos with some even going so far and stating that I should have been thrown out of the house as I wasn’t honoring Dr Jenn Berman’s dress code. I’ll be the first person to admit that I certainly was making a statement by putting them on the moment that Doug & Courtney left, but what I was expressing was that small swimsuit attire is fine in and around the pool but certainly not proper or respectful clothing to wear to a therapy session. Also like a lot of things, the fixation with Courtney’s attire is like Courtney herself; only skin deep. For me it wasn’t so much what she was (or rather wasn’t) wearing but that her contributions in group therapy seemingly only matched the number of square inches of fabric that covered very little of her body.

In Dr Jenn’s blog on VH1′s website this week she alludes to a conversation with Shayne and Nik that happened off screen (or rather that didn’t make this episode), and I too had a conversation with Nik that didn’t make the cut. When he came out in his “Dourtney is Dead” tee, I said it wasn’t really appropriate and however much we may have been delighted that they were gone, bad taste is still bad taste.

During the first post Dourtney group session, I really wonder who Dr Jenn was angry with; us, herself or the show’s producers! In her blog she says “I really got how incredibly frustrated and difficult for everyone in the group to be living with Courtney primarily in two ways. The first was that hyper-sexualized dress and attitude and the second was their frustration at her not being at their level in the therapy room.” Yet I am really not sure she can get it. She can try and put herself in our place but it was us all (including Doug), individually who had been sitting in group bearing the deepest, darkest secrets of our psyches while Miss Lollipip giggled and oohed & aahed. Dr Jenn might think she knows how we felt but until it actually happens to you no one can know how it did.

You heard me use the “Lord of the Flies‘ analogy in group and based on just the footage that we all saw in last night’s episode, I don’t think I was being incredibly rude or disrespectful to Dr Jenn. I’ve never been afraid to state my opinion and while yes, sometimes my tone & delivery can be off, I was pissed that Dr Jenn was placing all the blame on their departure on us. I’m a great believer that in life you reap what you sow, and frankly anyone putting this show together would have known damn well that bringing Courtney into a house of adults would have created a shitstorm, VH1 got that but I do think overall, Courtney’s presence did undermine the therapeutic benefit for the rest of us.

In last week’s episode, Alex discussed her father’s death and the fact that as her Mom hesitated at the door, Alex as an 11 year old, took the handle and opened it. This week we got to see the intensely personal and emotional scene as Alexis (Alex’s Mom) joined Alex on Dr Jenn’s couch. For Alex’s thoughts on this please read her blog over on VH1′s website.

I’ve known both these women for over 13 years, and despite my own prior disregard for therapy, I am so glad that Alex & her Mom were able to sit down together, understand each other’s perspective and move on from there. Things left unsaid for years often just eat away in side of you and while this is not something that Alex continually dwelt upon, the fact that it’s now been cleared away is a great thing.

At the end of this episode we see Doug & Courtney return to the Couples Therapy house and in a preview for next week’s eighth episode we see Courtney sitting on Doug’s knee while I try to have a conversation with him. You then see me storm off and I’ll have much more to say about that next week when it airs.

Until then have a great week and for those suffering through Sandy & now this Nor’easter, I hope you are able to stay warm.

Please follow us on Twitter @SimonvanKempen @McCordAlex as well as on Facebook. For more on us & our family see our website. Until next week!

30 Responsesto “Couples Therapy – Simon’s Blog on Episode 7 – Metaphors of Me and My Speedos”

  1. PattyMN says:

    I completely understood the other couples’ issues with Doug & Courtney. What is frustrating as a viewer, is that Dr. Jenn has not admitted, or it has not been shown, that Courtney is a child and cannot comprehend adult issues. I don’t agree that the other couples should be responsible for “modeling” acceptable behavior for Courtney; they’re there to do their own work. I do believe it is absolutely an unfair burden on the other couples who are truly working through very personal issues. I agree with Simon that what Nik did with the T-Shirt was in very poor taste, but Nik clearly had an opinion before “Dourtney” entered the house. He said they themselves have been bombarding him with material for inclusion on his website for publicity and he’s declined it. So it would appear that Doug had problems with Nik before they came into the house. It remains to be seen whether or not there is any sincerity at all in “Dourtney.”

  2. AJ says:

    Simon, the speedos were entirely appropriate even though they’re neither flattering nor attractive. Your point was well made to those of us who comprehend “a time and a place.” I’m disappointed that VH1 feels it has to grovel for ratings by featuring the odious couple that is Dave and Courtney, because the stories of the other couples, earnestly attempting to better themselves and their relationships, are vastly more compelling to a thinking audience.

    The emotional dissonance the child exhibits is both baffling and alarming. Her husband’s clear sub-confidence creates this strange conglomeration of fame-whorishness masquerading as a legitimate relationship.

  3. melissa says:

    I firmly believe Courtney has a classic case of:

    Histrionic personality disorder

    and I would really like to know why Dr.Jenn doesn’t address this on the show…I know that courtney and doug are just there for ratings…but come on, everyone can see through the act. Its hard when they are the butt of their own joke but everyone else in the house is Real and Authentic and working through their problems while Courtney isn’t being called out on her Real pyschological issues…and I know that would Probably be a Show of its own because itd take so long to try and explain/understand/and its not really “fixable” all that much without years of therapy but even still. Ugh. Anyhow I was happy & proud to see you and Alex so happy at the end of the latest episode you two are really doing great!! =)

  4. Carolyn says:

    Simon, do you know whether Alex and her mother had a chance to work through Alex’s struggles regarding how she felt guilty for feeling that she somehow caused her father’s death by “wishing he were dead” because of his irratic and disease-related behavior? In the TV version, The therapist never helped Alex broach that subject, but it sure seemed important to me.

  5. PamDryburgh says:

    Thanks Simon for your insite every week. I too wrote on Alexs’ blog about this episode. Dourtney needs more therapy than this show can give them. What got me to the core is the interaction between Alex and her Mom. Was very moving for me and hit me hard. And, you are right even good marriages can use a little therapy. Thanks again Simon, till next week…

  6. Alia says:

    I did write on Alex’s VH1 blog as well but I was really proud her and her Mom talked it out and healed somewhat regarding the death of her Father. For the rest I was seriously repulsed with the therapist’s behavior, I’m sorry you cannot have it both ways either you are an adult who made a grown up decision to marry an old man, or you are child who is with a molester. While Courtney’s behavior can be attributed to her age its not an EXCUSE and none of you should have to put up with that BS. It is not your job to guide or parent her or “push” her in the right direction. It’s sad that the show is ratings and NOT real help or they would not of been allowed back.

  7. Marla says:

    I feel the show was for ratings. That is the only reason Courtney and Doug were there. On the other hand I feel as if the other couples were there for authentic reasons. I believe Dr. Jenn was not attending to your healing as adults, and placed more stress on your healing by allowing this little girl to sexually advance on the men in the group while the wives had to watch. That must have been a test on your relationship and threaten the women. It was STUFFED down your throat. I feel like VH1 and Dr Jenn tried to manipulate you to accept a pedophile and his victim. Any other situation he should have been prosecuted along with her mother. I hope you all are safe, but that was a far cry from a safe environment PERIOD!!! Tisk Tisk Dr Jenn, Professionally your house was an emotionally unstable environmental for your other patients! This will probably add to their problems ultimately. WOW!

    • Marla says:

      Not to mention I WOULD NEVER USE YOU AS a therapist. In your interview after Doug and Courtney left, you ask your remaining patients to verbalize their feelings and you STUFFED them back at them. I was surpriced that Alex didn’t call you out on your lack of true attention to the cry’s of the cast to help them deal with them. Your answer that they should have talked to you and your staff was like saying…. didn’t you read the contract… sorry! It was right in front of all of them! Oh wait….. RATINGS huh? WOW!

      • Marla says:

        Opps… I can spell! Opps! Blushing!!!

        • Marla says:

          Oh and what Courtney did was nonverbal bulling through out the show. The sexual advancements, comments, clothing should have been addressed in the very beginning. Your cry’s to ask her to stop should have been addressed as disrespect to others. Dr Jenn allowed this to happen to you the whole 2 weeks and when you celebrated it being over she called you out for not being human. For God sake!! That was a celebration of relief and how you did it was not done great… but it was an expression that she should have seen as a therapist that her house needed emotional stability. What a quack! And stop cursing Dr Jenn….. it is violent. Find a better way to express yourself with healthy words! Your words are iconic!

  8. Karen says:

    Love you guys Simon! Hope you & the family are all ok after Sandy hit….I am really sad the VH1 and “Doctor” Jenn seem to be unable to see what you and every other person see about Courtney and even Doug. allowing them to pretend they are being “bullied” when that is such a big issue right now is irresponsible and delusional! I say bravo to you (no pun intended) for saying what you said to Dr Jenn….perhaps if she REALLY thought they needed therapy she could have offered it to them OFF SCREEN. Oh but then we couldnt see her on TV “fix” dourtney…BS Dr Jenn, and how sad you felt the need as a doctor to “bully” the other participants into allowing them to return! YOU SUCK! Many blessings to you, Alex & the Boys Simon!

  9. Sophia says:

    She seems like she’s bipolar. That hypersexual way of acting is classic abuse or bipolar.

  10. tracy says:

    Love you n Alex! The money thing was hilarious.. The bullying, I don’t believe it was.. Doug is a legal child molester!!! Who’s story should never have made any TV show other than news coverage of him going to jail… Just my opinion.. Oh and speedos on ya Symon are who you are love ys or hate ya lol

  11. tracy says:

    Love you n Alex! The money thing was hilarious.. The bullying, I don’t believe it was.. Doug is a legal child!!! Who’s story should never have made any TV show other than news coverage of him going to jail… Just my opinion..

  12. Jennifer says:

    Let’s get this right here, a 51 yo man is married to a 17yo girl, who acts like a bimbo and dresses like a slut. She shakes her body all over the house in front of other adult men while her ” husband”, or actually, MOLESTER, looks on. The bimbo and her MOLESTER are the victims? Wooooooow! He is a child molester, flat out! Her parents allowed them to get married, so what? Her ” career” could blossom? Wow! So NOT happening! This man is parading her around like ” look what I got guys!” she was 16, isn’t the age of consent 18 here? The molester says he felt BULLIED? Really? What is going on here? All for ratings!

  13. Rosy says:

    I feel like Dr. Jenn was acting as though those 2 were the Victims. Then when they coming back in he says,”let’s go back into the lion’s den”. They not the victims and the only reason I feel they are back on is for TV. Courtney thinks she is a star and he is just making a fool of himself.

    I really love the show but I so wish Dr.Jenn would not have let them 2 come back.

    • Karen says:

      And she should not have “bullied” the other participants into regretting their honest emotions about this farce “dourtny” they are attention whores plain & simple…and Courtney smirking her way thru and laughing like its all a joke should be asked to leave just on the principle that she is incapable of honesty and true feeling. Saving peoples life my ass…I feel like shooting myself each time they come on screen!

  14. Pat says:

    The challenge with Courtney and Doug…Courtney is there just to be on TV. Doug is too afraid of losing her, that he feels most like her husband when he has to defend/protect her.

  15. Beverly Benton says:

    Courtney was clearly molested as a child and now acts out to get more sexual attention. She’s not dressing provocatively, she’s dressing like a stripper Barbie doll. Something is really wrong with Doug and something’s really wrong with Courtney’s parents to allow all of this to happen. If they were really secure in their relationship (and in their sexuality, as well) there would be no need for their PDA. I laughed my a$$ off when Alex put the dollar bills in Courtney’s sleazy undies. Speedos are a bathing suit. I don’t think that it broke the dress code. It’s not like you wore them to dinner.

  16. Misty says:

    I’m glad that Dr. Jenn addressed the mob lynch mentality against Doug & Courtney from the group! It’s interesting how you & the rest of the so-called “adults” from the group act completely blameless for example, your mocking a 17 year old during the group session showed lack of immaturity, and the snickering by the rest of the group reminded me of school yard bullies acting up! GOOD for Doug & Courtney for coming back to such a hostile environment, and from previews, you have a problem of Courtney sitting on her husband’s lap?! Clearly, you tried to find something to bitch & moan about! And Seriously, Simon, why did you have to scar the tv audience with your speedos? GROSS!

    • Sanity says:

      Is defending that fame whore your full time job Misty?

      • Misty says:

        Sanity, I’m glad Dr. Jenn addressed the lynch mob mentality from the group. It’s funny how the other couples act entirely blameless for the animosity between them and Doug & Courtney. Even Simon, said that “it takes two to tango”m, which in this case, more than two. Every person in the group,needs to acknowledge their share of the blame for the hostile environment created in the house. NO one is innocent here, but Doug & Courtney are not entirely at fault either!

        • Lizzie says:

          Misty, I don’t understand your staunch defense of that hyper-sexual nymphomaniac, but this is America and you’re entitled to your opinion.

          I will say this: as a mature adult with daughters, I am appalled at Courtney’s parents for allowing her to run amok with no guidance, boundaries or discipline. Courtney is a messed up, misguided teen because of her mother and father’s total lack of parenting skills.

          • Jennifer says:

            Amen Lizzie! Isn’t it the same as pimping their child? All a 51yo man would get, if he came around my daughter, would be 2 angry older brothers, a hell bent father and a mother with a shotgun in his face! Then again, my daughter dresses and acts appropriatly, my husbAmd and I are real parents too.

        • lolzballs says:

          Courtney… you said, “let’s start some drama” in episode 1 as you were meeting the group for the first time. That says it all. Your intent for appearing on the show was not therapy, but the hopes that this would be the stepping stone to your own show. I hear that the networks are wisely passing on this show thus far.. let’s hope they hold out and NEVER give you a show! If you create a lion’s den.. don’t freak out when the lions enter. If you were flirting with my man like you were flirting with these husbands… you would need a whole lot of plastic face surgery that you weren’t prepared to receive.

    • Jennifer says:

      So, these grown adults are supposed to be ok with a child and her molester, her walking around 3/4 naked, him groping her…it’s ok? PLEASE, NEVER have kids! PLEASE! I’d rather see Simon in a speedo, as distasteful as speedos are, in a speedo appropriate setting, than her being groped by a dirty old man anyday!

    • lolzballs says:

      We have already heard how you feel Courtney… this board is for the television viewing audience.

  17. Kay says:

    I can’t believe Dr. Jenn thought it was good for them to come back! She studies why humans act the way they do and she is being fooled if she thinks they are there for the right reasons. They are there for publicity and nothing else. I would leave therapy if they were part of my therapy group. They are making a joke of it all while you guys put your heart and souls into it. You are spilling the most intimate parts of your lives and she is there twirling her hair and acting like her life is all lollipops and roses. If her life is that great then why is she there? If everything is so so wonderful then she don’t need therapy. To me their biggest problem (besides a 52 year old marrying a child) is that she won’t put any clothes on and it causes problems in her marriage. Doug had to know how she was before he married her so why is he griping now? You know why because you can’t turn that into a housewife. Which is what he wants. SHE IS A CHILD! She is in no way ready to be a housewife. Her life is just starting…there is going to be a lot of first for her (wait until she goes into a club at 21, he thinks his life is hell now). Hang in there Alex and Simon!

    • ELAINE LEIRER says:

      I do not think Doug wants a housewife. He has low self esteem and he wants arm candy to show that he had what it took to get her to marry him. Now that he is married and he is a wuse, he doesn’t have the testicular fortitude to defend her honor. I have observed grown women during my life that provoke attention from males and then tell their husbands who are supposed to run and defend them. I imagine that this is an esteem issue also. Doug, since he is not Arnold the terminator, has a tiger by the tale. In any event, they should not be in the group from a professional point of view. In these reality programs the producers want tension and someone to force the public to watch as in a train wreck.

    • Karen says:

      Dr Jenn is not compromising her professional integrity for “ratings” there is no other reason for her allowing them to come back which lowers the faith & trust level the others have in her…if she truly wanted to help, needed to her for conscience reasons then offer to help them OFF of the TV…lets see how fast they allow that? Doug was unhappy that she got them kicked off because this is as close to an acting role he will EVER get again, not because he gives a damn about this sham marriage. NEWSFLASH Dougie she would dump your butt tomorrow for Nik and his money..hello she tries to right in FRONT OF YOUR FACE! GROSS!

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