March, 2010:

I know a few things happened in this episode but am going to skip to what affected me the most…Saks. Not sure why Jill said that she thought I was crying for some reason unrelated to her. My emotion was a direct response to her actions.
At Saks I told Jill that my feelings had been building up since Ungaro. Let me shed a little light on just what had been building up. Over the past three years, Jill has never missed an opportunity to give her opinion about my children. She has told me where they should go to school. She has told me what they should eat. She has told me that she thinks they need to be tested for various disorders, and that I should apply for extra time for them to take tests. She has discussed their diets and their behavior. Let’s pause on the behavior, because that certainly didn’t start at Ungaro. One comment at one party is no big deal – if it were only that I’d have let it go. It’s all the comments built up over years – Ungaro was just the straw that broke the camel’s back. Jill shouts it from the rooftops when she thinks our sons or my husband are being inappropriate. To give her a little credit, she was equally loud when we were at her home in the Hamptons and the boys were being lovely, but that wasn’t on tape and I think Jill thinks that (particularly when the cameras are around) making digs is a lot more fun than paying compliments.

I would also like to bring up one more thing. Earlier at Saks LuAnn and I are discussing my client Second Time Around, when Ramona flies in and accuses LuAnn of not wanting us at her house, which I tend to believe, given past behavior and particularly after what happened next. After Ramona and Simon drifted away, I asked LuAnn about the kids at the dock, and she said Jill told her about it, not the other way around. THAT was the reason I then felt the need to confront Jill immediately instead of taking her out to lunch, as I’d told Bethenny earlier. I know you guys didn’t see that, but I really wanted to get the two of them together to find out why they were each blaming the other. After somebody dragged her out of the bathroom, LuAnn did a 180 and owned it, which was helped along by a flashback. Yes, LuAnn was the one told the story about François at Ungaro, after Jill brought it up because she thought it was the “perfect time.” Parties are apparently the perfect time for her to make fun of my children by encouraging LuAnn to tell the story, but parties are not the appropriate setting for me to react to that? Hmmm.
That scene in Saks was the first time Jill ever acknowledged any of the three years of comments, and while doing so she wouldn’t let me speak, she played with my earring, she adjusted my blouse, and generally fussed around with every piece of my shell instead of looking into my eyes and connecting. Jill asked me “do you feel better?” and proceeded to tell me I should. I didn’t feel better at all, quite frankly. Once I starting crying she covered me with apologies, in my opinion not because she was actually sorry but because I was crying. I had my jaw on the floor, looking completely confused because I really couldn’t believe what I’d just heard. What do I know? I know that at Ungaro, Jill thought it would be the perfect time to make LuAnn tell a story, and she did. I know that much because I saw it played back on tape. At Saks, it appears I jumped on the instigator, not the pawn.

So yes, this has been a build up. After the Ungaro party, I started thinking not only about the dock story but also about all the stupid little petty digs Jill has made about my husband and my children over the past three years, both on the show, off the show, in print, etc., and it built into a tidal wave. That wave hasn’t crested yet. Watch what happens.

OK, now that we’ve dealt with that, there were a few other things that happened in the episode. Nice to see Avery – she is growing up into such a young lady.

Bethenny’s Skinnygirl party was hilarious; I had a front row seat for Kelly & Bethenny, part 3! One thing in particular that cracked me up that got cut: while Kelly was making a huge effort to apologize to her, Bethenny kept making comments (that were funny and meant to help the situation) but Kelly just wasn’t catching them. Finally I told Bethenny to stooooop so Kelly could get her apology out. I thought it was a good effort on both parts to meet in the middle. Let’s see whether that lasts…

This was the first episode in three years that Simon and I had to pause so that we could regroup and prepare ourselves for the next scene. Wow!!

We had a great dinner with Mario & Ramona, and we all nearly died when Simon and Mario showed up looking like twins – gotta love John Bartlett! I didn’t remember whether Ramona had invited us to lunch or not, as I had opened two stores for STA the week before Labor Day, but as I’d been having such a good time with her we were happy to say yes. We all hoped that Jill and LuAnn would join the party, and with a little encouragement Mario called LuAnn and left a voicemail.

When Jill called Ramona from LuAnn’s cell, I thought she should have announced that LuAnn was listening as well. One of my biggest pet peeves is lurking eavesdroppers, and anytime I have to put someone on speaker, I let them know who’s in earshot. Wow. Just….wow.

Cut to the next day at Ramona & Mario’s – you could have blown me over with a feather when Bethenny addressed the logo I’d done for her. I was really surprised for a number of reasons. First, if it had only been about the logo she didn’t owe me an explanation. Companies sometimes try out one idea and then go in another direction – sometimes they come back to you and say “can we try it this way instead,” and sometimes they don’t. What had angered me last year was not really about the logo at all. In the off season we’d disagreed about something behind-the-scenes, and rightly or wrongly she was really mad at me and also at Simon. I felt that because she was angry, she borrowed the fact that my logo wasn’t the one she went with, and used that as a weapon to attack me professionally and Simon personally. When B apologized for not using the logo, I tried to explain that I wasn’t really upset about the logo not being used but all the drama surrounding it. That didn’t really come across; however, I did appreciate her desire to clear or at least start clearing the air. After the discussion we proceeded to have a great afternoon.

There were a couple of reasons I decided that we would stay at Ramona’s house. First, we were having a really, really good time. After Bethenny and I (and then Bethenny and Simon, not shown,) had talked, we concentrated on just having fun. We played bocce, ate ourselves silly and relaxed. The few minutes that viewers saw of course were the gossip about LuAnn and Jill but overall we really didn’t spend too much time talking about them that day. It wasn’t about drama, it was about fun. Second, I had a bad taste in my mouth about something Jill said the previous day. On the phone the day before, Jill tried to get me to cancel on Ramona altogether and she said “I know you would rather be with us.” Even if it were true, which I’m not sure it was, that was a really, really presumptuous comment. I did want to make sure Simon got a chance to see Jill & Bobby, but frankly I didn’t really want to leave a party where we were having a good time, to drive in the opposite direction in Labor Day traffic and be dragged into drama. I did feel conflicted in the moment because I’d promised we would stop by, although had I been privy to the call between Ramona & Jill the decision would have been a no brainer.

We couldn’t just no-show at Jill’s, so I called her. I apologized and suggested we get together back in the city. Funny what happens after you hang up the phone!

This season is going to be so juicy; I cannot wait for the next episode!! In the meantime, you can find us on our family website, Facebook and Twitter.

FAMILY SITE

Ohhh boy, welcome back! Filming this season was a wild ride, and I for one can’t wait to see what it’s going to look like. So much drama, so many poignant moments, so many times when I felt like my heart was so full it might burst … or was that my head and eyes?

In between seasons, Simon and I wrote a book together, Little Kids, Big City, which comes out April 6th. It’s about the craziness that goes along with raising young children in the city, with the good, the bad and the downright ugly. We go to places few parents do when it comes to speaking frankly (and sometimes sarcastically) about the frustrating but rewarding full time job of being parents.

When you last saw me (filming the Season 2′s Reunion Special), I had been recently laid off from Victoria’s Secret corporate, and I felt the newly jobless panic that so many of us did. When you lose your job, the fear and anxiety is overwhelming, regardless of your circumstances. I was one of the lucky ones – I received a good severance package and went into business for myself. These days I work with retail clients doing everything from graphics and event planning to merchandising and store fixtures. Right now I am planning the March opening party for Second Time Around’s newest location in Philadelphia, and running the in-store renovation for Willoughby’s Camera, which includes new showrooms for Leica and Pentax. After balancing corporate America with home, family and shooting the show, I’m thrilled to be able to set my own hours and work from home often, though my friends will tell you I definitely work longer hours now!

Over the summer, Simon and I ran into Ramona and Mario several times -– their ice and our apathy had begun to thaw a bit, so when she invited me to join her for a day on the boat I accepted, and we decided to start afresh. Almost the moment we left the pier the drama began, though not with me…yet. Ramona brought out her newest jewelry pieces and Jill and LuAnn were offended -– not sure why. I dove in and tried things on; why not play with sparkly things on a gorgeous day? The group quickly divided in half, and after I had my fill of wine and jewelry I threw on a bikini (thanks, Jennifer!) and went to lay out on the bow. I was almost asleep when suddenly Jill and LuAnn popped up on either side of me like one of those “whack-a-mole” games, to fill me in on the brewing feud. Apparently Mario made a sly comment about LuAnn that wasn’t very nice. LuAnn wanted Ramona to apologize, and refused to confront Mario about it. That’s where she lost me. I get really frustrated when people tell Simon something meant for me, and vice versa. We have a very close relationship, but we’re not interchangeable! Neither are Mario and Ramona. If a guy ever does something to annoy me I take it up with him directly, not his wife.

Eventually everyone settled down and LuAnn and Ramona smoked a peace pipe, or rather downed a peace shot. We had a great lunch and afternoon, during which Jill brought up that she and Bethenny hadn’t spoken in months and weren’t getting along. I had heard bits and pieces of this before, but hadn’t seen Bethenny all summer myself. That afternoon I kept an open mind – in the moment it seemed like both “sides” had reasons for the way they felt; how wrong I was. Stay tuned for more on that…